
After several rounds of ghosting, endless swipes in a sea of faces that...aren't quite your type, and even a few relationships that almost went the distance, you are likely to experience a serious case of burnout. You may be ready to give up on looking for your special someone, and choose the more receptive approach instead: "if it happens, it happens."
And sometimes, yes. But I believe that personal preparation is a huge factor in making sure that the people you attract are aligned with your goals and vision. If your mindset is one of boredom and aimlessness, you may find that you match with folks who are also bored and just "going with the flow." If your mindset is pretty gloomy and insecure, you may find your path crossing with individuals who will take advantage of your low self-esteem - or join you in your sense of cynicism.

Learn How to Rest & Refresh - While Staying in the Game
When we think about pausing dating, it's usually after hitting a wall of frustration or a wall of discouragement. We don't find what we are looking for, so we tap out of the game and sort of avoid the issue altogether.
Rather than resting out of avoidance, consider an intentional rest and refresh. Since your Friday nights won't be reserved for dates, can you replace this with an activity or hobby that enhances your life? If you prefer to stay at home in rest, maybe you can use this time to truly unplug; detox from social media or mindless forms of entertainment in order to gain a deeper sense of clarity and presence. If you have felt disillusioned with your dating prospects, find a way to engage with the world that encourages you to believe that the love you desire truly exists. This may be in the form of relatable podcasts, meeting with married friends whose marriage you respect, or even meeting new single friends who aren't your type romantically, but prove that good men and women are out there.
The refresh may also take the form of education: learning more about your finances through a financial literacy course, or learning more about your mental health through therapy or books. Integrating these types of habits into your life will be a surefire investment into your future if you desire to contribute equally to a long-term relationship or marriage. It is much better to meet someone when you are also ready to pour into the relationship - rather than expecting the other person to bring everything to the table.
Do what you can to keep your mind hopeful - or fortify areas that will add a benefit to your life in the long-run.

Is this Burnout, or Are You Repeating Toxic Patterns that Exhaust You?
You may have a "type" that consistently lands you in the same situation. It would be easy to blame these people, saying "all men are trash" or "women don't want anything serious these days"...but it's time to turn the mirror back to yourself. How are you participating in this repeated pattern? What behaviors are you enabling that do not align with the future you claim to want?
Consider scheduling a session with an individual therapist to take a deeper dive into the ways that you show up in your dating life. (feel free to email if you are curious about therapist options; I've got lots of amazing contacts in the Atlanta area). But I'll remind you - therapy only works if you are willing to be raw and honest. To look at the "man in the mirror" and confront the ways that you are creating a barrier against your own happiness. It can't be 100% of the other person's fault.

Self-Sabotage by Staying Where You are Comfortable
If you say you want to meet someone new but refuse to break your daily routine, refuse to try attending new events, refuse to say "hello" to that attractive guy or gal in public - then you may be sabotaging your own goals. It is unrealistic to think that doing absolutely nothing will yield a healthy and fruitful relationship. Sure, maybe you'll bump into a person or two, but work is still required to nurture that connection into something more than a chance encounter.
To put it plainly, you'll have to risk rejection. You'll have to risk looking silly or being disappointed. You'll have to get uncomfortable; not just in dating, but also at several moments within your future relationship. Relationships are a consistent journey of vulnerability, awareness, communication, and breaking our previous pattern of comfort. Dating is a great time to start consciously practicing that skill.
Nominate Yourself - or a Friend
If you find value in meeting singles with shared values, Mesa Gatherings may be a good fit for you. And if not, we are happy to refer you to other organizations that also offer in-person events in and around Atlanta, Georgia. The goal is to have options for those who are tired of swipe culture. Let's find what type of gathering fits you best.
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