
What is your weekly routine? There is a high chance it includes a repetition of heading to work, going to the grocery store, heading home, then maybe one or two extra activities like visiting the gym where you hold a membership, or going to church on Sundays.
It is good to have a flow and rhythm to life. It gives us a sense of predictability and comfort in a world that can often feel chaotic and out of our control. But is it possible that it may be time to step outside of your comfort zone? Could your weekly routine be keeping you away from more chances to meeting "the one"?
Add Something New - Increase Your Opportunities
The thing with routine is, you are less likely to encounter new opportunities. If you always go to the same restaurant and order the same dish, when will you get a chance to discover a new favorite flavor? If you always head to the gym and put in your headphones, complete a workout, then nod at a few familiar faces on the way out, what chance are you giving yourself to have a conversation that goes beyond "are you still using that one?"
So here is the challenge: add something new to your already-existing schedule.
At the most basic level, change one of your behaviors or habits slightly. Maybe you will try to talk to someone at the gym or sit in a new spot at church. You may consider dining in at a restaurant rather than isolating yourself in the drive through.
Want to kick it up a notch? Modify one of your existing habits. Instead of meeting with friends at their home, inconvenience yourselves by meeting at a local spot that has more people milling about. Instead of going to a women's-only or men's-only workout class, try "yoga on the lawn" or a local running club that will allow you to cross paths with individuals you wouldn't otherwise meet. Instead of rushing to a coffee shop to grab a latte to-go, give yourself enough time to sit inside, have a leisurely bite, and do a bit of people-watching. These are subtle shifts, but would keep you within your general habit.
Ready to spice it up another level? Break your habit entirely. Now, this will go a bit more in-depth - so hold on tight!

Consider the "Ember," not Just the "Fireworks"
If you are used to saying "yes" to dates with men or women who fit your particular type, consider opening your eyes to a new type of person. Hopefully their personality and values are still something you share, but maybe their look isn't usually what you have dated in the past. Now hear me out - this isn't Love is Blind. Don't agree to a date with someone that you have absolutely zero physical attraction to. But maybe consider the ember rather than only looking for the fireworks.
A slow build in a relationship can give you enough time and mental clarity to really learn more about each other - rather than immediately diving into hot passion and physical chemistry that can blind us from the real mission at hand: to create a long-term, healthy partnership.
Try the Dating App - I Know, "Gasp!"
Some of you reading this have had your fair share of dates from dating apps. You were never against them, but perhaps decided that you wanted to take an extended break - or that they were no longer for you. However, there are those who have never tried dating apps. You have heard horror stories and have decided that there is no way you will eeeevveeerrr meet someone in a format like that. Or, you prefer the romantic love story with its in-person meet cute, and refuse to settle for anything less.
But the fact of the matter is, healthy and sustainable matches do form from dating apps. You likely don't hear as much about these because they are happily living their lives rather than sharing tells of ghosting and situationships on the internet.
So as surprising as it may be to hear, I would encourage you to try a dating app! But here is the caveat: do so intentionally. Instead of swiping endlessly for hours on end, set aside a limited amount of time that you will devote to giving the faces in front of you an honest look. Read what they have written. If they put zero effort into their profile, perhaps this is a sign they aren't in the place to put effort into a relationship. But if they have spent time answering prompts, choosing photos that reflect a multi-faceted personality, and (of course) take time aside to answer messages, then congratulations - you have just met another human, just like you, who is simply open to a genuine connection.
What are dating apps, after all? They are tools that allow us to communicate with a new person that we wouldn't otherwise meet.
Limit your time on the screen - just as we should for all forms of social media - and try your best to only engage with the app when you are open to active participation. No swiping out of boredom or searching for dopamine hits. And, because you may ask, as of January 2025, my recommendation for a more intentional app experience is Hinge.

What if "Meeting The One" Happens on the Other Side of Atlanta
You may be used to doing your lifestyle activities on your side of town - whether that be staying outside of the perimeter in Gwinnett, or exclusively staying inside the perimeter in Midtown or Decatur. But there is no need to cut your dating pool so severely. Especially for towns in Atlanta that are more car-heavy and less walkable, staying on your home turf can limit your chance to meet someone just a few extra miles outside of your radius.
And listen, I get it: Atlanta traffic is rough. On the Netflix show Later Daters, one suitor was asked if he was really going to let Atlanta traffic be the reason that he stopped seeing someone. His response was quick, but decisive: "I will."
It was funny to watch, but I would challenge you to ask yourself that same question. If you would seriously like to form a connection with someone, are you willing to limit yourself to only one area? And sure, long distance is certainly a factor to consider. But maybe see what it would be like to expand your radius of opportunity by 10 - 20 miles. What could happen then?
The moral of the story is: do something different. You may expand your horizons and find yourself feeling more brave, more optimistic, and more open to new opportunities. You may find that the world is bigger than you'd thought, and get out of the burn-out slump that has you feeling pessimistic about your chances in dating. And, of course, you may meet someone that, over time, becomes the love of your life. You won't know unless you get out of your comfort zone.
Nominate Yourself - or a Friend
If you find value in meeting singles with shared values, Mesa Gatherings may be a good fit for you. And if not, we are happy to refer you to other organizations that also offer in-person events in and around Atlanta, Georgia. The goal is to have options for those who are tired of swipe culture. Let's find what type of gathering fits you best.
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