Jade tossed her phone across the bed with a heavy sigh.
She was in her childhood bedroom of her family home, and could still hear the holiday chatter in the other room. Everyone had just finished dinner, but she snuck away to see if she'd heard back from any of her matches on the dating app.
And no, she hadn't.
She made a few more half-hearted swipes to the left and to the right, until all of the unfamiliar faces started to blend together. This just wasn't working for her anymore. She would turn 39 this year, and she was tired of wasting time staring at a screen and waiting for responses. Just one room over, her younger brother was helping his wife feed their toddler, and her youngest cousin - only 23 years old - was talking about how her boyfriend surprised her for their 3-year anniversary. Jade was truly, truly happy for them - but she couldn't help but feel a slight twinge of disappointment when she thought about her own prospects.
Jade left her phone behind in her bedroom and headed back to rejoin her family.
"This next year," she thought to herself, "something has to change."
Dating Apps vs Meeting Organically
Jade had downloaded, deleted, and re-downloaded her dating app at least 5 times in the last few months. Each time, she'd hoped that a swipe would lead to a long-lasting connection. Something meaningful, something like what her friends had managed to find on the apps, too. "If they were able to do it, it has to be possible, right?"
But the truth is, even if finding a match online were possible for her, Jade was tired of the searching. The process was exasperating, and it occupied too much of her mental space. She was becoming so jaded (no pun intended, of course), that she was even starting to pick up some of the habits of the matches she despised: ghosting when a connection was too boring, forgetting to respond for days at a time, or not beginning a conversation in the first place.
Jade wanted an alternative to swiping away at her phone. What she really wanted was to meet someone organically; but how?
The truth is, for singles in their 30s and 40s, meeting organically proves to be a unique challenge. Unlike high school sweethearts or college students who run into each other in class, extracurriculars, or on campus, adult singles have to rely on their geography, interests, or friend network for their ideal "meet-cute."
You'd think that living in a bigger city like Atlanta, Georgia would provide more opportunities, but without a consistent routine that has you out and about - not just at home or at work (even worse if you work from home) - it will be hard to regularly run into someone and strike a connection. Locations like the gym or the bar may come to mind, but approaching a stranger out of the blue is intimidating for men and women alike. And as for friends introducing you to their other attractive, single friend? That is a great idea - but this seems to be a rare mindset for folks to adopt. Either they may think it is odd to introduce two single friends, or they are simply unaware that their friend may be interested in a connection!
Slow, Intentional Dating in Atlanta, Georgia
In creating Mesa Gatherings, the goal was to provide an alternative to dating apps and swipe culture for those who are burnt out from the process, or who are simply disinterested in meeting someone online. Those who prefer the "organic connection" of getting to know another human being for all that they are: the way they talk, how they approach others, their likes and disinterests... a slower burn to a longer-lasting connection.
You've heard the saying "Atlanta is an hour away from Atlanta," and it's true. Singles in Alpharetta, Midtown, Decatur, Smyrna, or Gwinnett are spread out so far from each other that they rarely overlap or interact organically. So, we needed to find a way to bring all of these singles together in one place.
And here we are: Mesa Gatherings is hosting quarterly singles events, and sending you updates on additional in-person opportunities by organizations in the Atlanta area such as Green Flag Date. More options for face-to-face connection.
But wait: "does speed dating really work?"
This is one of the top questions googled by singles in the United States. Our approach asks for a different mindset:
Instead of speed dating, think slow dating
and instead of being dating-focus, be people-focused
Mesa Gatherings singles events offer opportunities to meet ladies and gents who agree with a set of core values (multiculturalism, respect, personal growth, community, faith, financial wisdom, adventure). The "respect" value emphasizes getting know others for who they are, and not treating them like objects or a means to an end. This means that instead of speedily assessing people to see if they are an ideal hook-up or meet your mental vision of the perfect partner, we encourage attending events with a sense of curiosity and a willingness to experience others slowly over time.
There may be some events where several attendees catch your eye for romantic interest. On the other hand, there may also be events where the "win" isn't walking away with a date for next Friday, but instead walking away with good conversation, new insight into yourself or others, and the chance to make friends that can understand and relate to you on a deeper level. Too often, we undervalue the impact that meaningful friendships can have on our health and our collective sense of loneliness and isolation.
Nominate Yourself - or a Friend
If you find value in meeting singles with shared values, Mesa Gatherings may be a good fit for you. And if not, we are happy to refer you to other organizations that also offer in-person events. The goal is to have options for those who are tired of swipe culture. Let's find what types of gatherings fit best for you.
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